Delayed But Not Denied: Identity
I rececenly found out that the word identity is from the root latin root words essentitas (which means "being") and identidem (which means "repeatedly") I found that interesting. Who you are being repeatedly makes up your identity. Interesting.
Your identity is important, it is the foundation of all you do and how you relate to everything else. In fact thinking about it inspires these lines:
"I.D is your Importance Defined
your Identity and Destiny are intertwined"
So knowing who you are is key but how do you go about doing that? I guess it is a journey we're all on. As an artist it has been the journey of discovery and sometimes it is not easy, in fact it is downright confusing at times. I have gone through periods of severe identity crisis and I think it is normal for this to happen as you grow. As you discover new things your sense of who you are changes. The thing is, as this happens not everyone around you recognises that and they relate to you based on what they have known you as before. It's almost as if you have to keep "updating" people about the changes happening in you. That's where communication comes in.
It can get confusing and it can be frustrating. Especially in the music industry that seems to depend on simple one dimensional definitions that labels need to "sell" you to consumers. The average consumer seems to not have the time, patience or willingness to digest complex things, the masses seem to need something simple to "digest" and not have to think too much to grasp what you and your music is about but hey who said music has to be this deep thing for it to be good? sometimes people just want to dance and escape the present moment, but I digress.
It is even worse when people who are very close to you don't seem to just not get the "new" you. In fact some people might even refuse to acknowledge the change in you because it seems they depend on you being the "old" you that they are used to. Some people even get personally offended by a change in you and that can be crazy especially when the change that is happening is for the better.
It sometimes becomes difficult to communicate the changes that are happening inside of you because sometimes it takes time to even understand it. It takes time to get the right language to describe it, I think my whole musical journey has been my attempt to make sense of my thoughts and feelings as i learn, grow and change. My whole recording process as I always say is just me giving anyone who cares to listen a peak into my musical diary. I have a line that goes "since the speed of light is faster than the speed of sound/my music finds it hard to catch up with the light I've found" This line is EXACTLY how it is for me most times. It's like I learn something or catch a glimpse of something and I am trying to capture it in music and most times I feel like I fail to fully capture it and this is why I try again and again with different tracks or pieces of poetry or whatever.
One last thing I will say about identity is that as much as we hate to admit it, and as much as we like to believe we are individuals (which we all are) our identity in a way seems to depend on whatever social group we "identify" with strongly (see what I did there?) This is why we look for validation so much, this is why things like twitter and Facebook are so big. We can't escape the fact that we feel the need to belong and have our identity validated by those near and dear to us (some even feel the need for strangers to agree with us and some people get mad when people don't, just look at how people fight online over other people not agreeing with their musical tastes or religious beliefs etc). We can't escape that need it seems, it is just how we are wired.
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