I have to say as this year draws to a close that it has been a great year for me personally. I am very pleased with how it has unfolded in many ways. I set a lot of personal goals and exceeded a lot of them by miles. I should be grateful and I am. As I sit and reflect, I feel a certain restlessness inside me though, I feel kind of frustrated, I always get this way when something significant is going to happen.
Frustration is good motivation. It is good fuel to power you forward. Even though a lot of great things are happening, a lot of crazy, mad and sad things are happening in the world. I have gone through a roller coaster of emotions this year watching things happen. I'm sure if I asked you about your year you would probably say the same. Sometimes it is so overwhelming and can make you feel powerless and helpless. I have had to fight with these feelings a lot more this year than I can remember.
I am thankful for the gift of music. It truly is my outlet and personal therapy. I always say my music really is more about me just releasing feelings than trying to create commercial smashes (though that would be great to really hit like that). My music releases are passion projects mainly. They are labours of love. I really do it for the love. If I was looking for my projects to be my main source of income to live I would be destitute and on the streets homeless. The EP I released this year PLTFRM SE7EN [SIDE A] is my favourite project I have released. It had no features or guest producers (except for the bandcamp bonus track which features and was produced by Mr DaMention) and I am hitting the point where I am expressing what I really want to say both sonically and lyrically and it is a great feeling to have that outlet to create something from start to finish that is authentically an expression of your heart and soul. To be able to stand back and say "I made that" and "it bangs" is like one of the best feelings in the world. I wish I could explain the sense of accomplishment I get. I feel like the richest man alive when I create and finish off a project.
Even though I released that this year, I have still been hitting the studio a lot. In fact I recorded the SIDE B of that project this year as well as a new project I am releasing in January that I am calling "The Frustrated Artist" EP. I wanted to call it something else but I called it this because this is how I honestly feel and how the songs I put together for it felt like. I feel frustrated. I feel that about myself, about the world and the music scene I come from. It's funny that I feel this way even in the midst of great blessings that I am thankful for. It's funny that I feel this way in a year where I feel I have had the most success I have ever had doing workshops in London, Lancashire, Colchester, Blackpool, Southampton and even Luton Town Stadium. I have gotten to travel to do gigs in different festivals this summer and also perform in New York, Amsterdam and Bath. I should have more gratitude is what I'm thinking but I DO feel grateful so what's the matter with me?
I guess I feel there is more. I am not satisfied and will keep working hard and reaching forward. I am grateful for how far I have come and I anticipate more that I can intuitively perceive that is ahead. I haven't been very consistent with blogging coming into Autumn and Winter so if this is the last blog I drop in 2014, I want to wish you who read my blog and follow my ramblings a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year!
Karl Nova Music